Who is Nadia and why got you into the space of female intimacy health?
My name is Nadia Williams. I am an intimate fitness instructor, and sex educator. I help women with their intimate health and wellbeing for pleasure and health benefit.
My background is that I used to live in Paris for 20 years and in 2009 I moved to New York because of low confidence and I was searching for something to help me.
I had breast cancer and I had been given antidepressant pills which after a while I decided not to take. Then I started searching for several programmes and for several techniques that could help me first with my pelvic floor issues. Due to the treatment for breast cancer, I somehow felt my muscles become a little bit weak. I had started to have urinary incontinences. As I mentioned before, my female confidence was disappearing as well, and I had questions for myself as a woman with regards to intimacy. I found this programme, it was like slightly a pelvic floor exercise, slightly kegel and slightly energy. Altogether they have transformed my body and my way of thinking about myself. I got my body mind connection. The program wasn’t just for the health benefit, my female confidence had improved and I felt much better about myself. I decided to study, to find out what was going on. How come, that the pelvic floor exercise had helped me to feel much better about myself? So, I signed up to the school, studied and became a certified intimate muscles’ instructor, and today, I help people with intimate health, wellbeing, and female confidence.
In brief can tell us what a health, wellbeing coach does?
I will tell you based on how I see the women I’m working with. So intimate health, it’s a big topic. It’s our sexuality. Sexuality is our birthright, and we all have this. For some women it slips away because of religion or the way they grew up or trauma or sometimes it is because of forbidden conversations, lack of sensitivity, or misunderstanding and no communication. Our sexuality and intimate health are related to each other. Intimate health can be for pleasure or for health benefit.
If a woman has low libido, no sex drive, if they feel uncomfortable in their gentiles, they don’t feel healthy. This is worse if they have urinary incontinence, because of dysfunctional of the pelvic floor muscles. This usually happens to a woman who has had a difficult childbirth or is overweight, or is physically working very hard, holding a lot of heavy weights. This is not pleasurable for women as it affects their intimate health.
What are the main issues women come for?
I have different women who come to see me.
- For young ladies it is the libido, sometimes they have no sex drive or lack sensitivity, or they just want to know their bodies better. In brief sex education.
- Then women who want to become mums. These just want to learn how to do their pelvic floor muscles. They are going to hold the baby for nine months. Sometimes the baby is too heavy and this can have pressure on the diaphragm. They also want to enhance elasticity for virginal muscles, to learn how to breathe so that the baby can go through the birth canal. This also helps to prevent traumatic birth. If a woman pushes too much, or breathes incorrectly or if she doesn’t have elasticity, then she can have unpleasant experience which might require episiotomy; which may affect her sensitivity in a long run and it is very painful.
- Then the postpartum women, these need to get back to their normal life after giving birth. They need to work on their pelvic floor muscles. After giving birth some women become a bit stretchy which can bring about urinary incontinency, or loss of sensitivity during intercourse. However, after three months of doing these exercises, they are able to get back to normal.
- Women in the pre menopause and post menopause period.
This is a totally different issue. The bodies are changing and the hormonal levels are very different. Oestrogen and progestogen are changing the chemistry of the body, creating a lot of cortisol which is the primary stress hormone. Then there is dryness (due to no female hormones) and this affects virginal tissues bringing about painfulness, dryness and no sex drive. The exercises help with focusing on squeezing and lifting for a period of time say 20 minutes a day focusing on pelvic floor. These bring about a lot of blood flow and circulation on the virginal tissues. All the three components together create a new environment for the body. The ovaries start to work better. The woman’s system changes, the energy is better and general wellbeing is better. The exercises work just like nutrition and normal exercises.
Intimate fitness is good for everybody. Women just need to understand their anatomy and do the exercises correctly. As Kegel is everywhere, the only issue is that women don’t know how to use them correctly.
Is there a correct way to do the exercises?
The main thing about these exercises is diaphragm breathing. Breathing is the nutrition of the body. Through breathing one is able to relax their pelvic floor muscles. The key thing is to know how to relax the muscle so that you do not develop hypertonia.
Key technique is body mind connection as our minds don’t realise that we have a muscle in the pelvic floor. Some techniques can be done with women in the privacy of their home guided by an instructor. The instructor will focus on what to do, how to squeeze, how to lift but most importantly to understand what they squeeze and what they lift, and what they engage. This can be visual. I usually ask women to use the mirror and see what is moving. And of course, they have a hand and can use their fingers as indicators, so that they can feel if they are doing the exercises correctly.
The most important thing for women is not to push out. A number of women when they do Kegel exercises for some reason they push out. Every exercise has to be done correctly. Correct breathing, gentle movement of the body, engagement and relaxation. So, it’s very important to relax because our muscles are developing during the relaxation. If using the Kegel, you need to follow full instructions. They give you exactly how many times to squeeze, to hold, how many times to lift.
The main thing is to know your body, how to squeeze, how to lift and relax.
It is called voluntary control of the pelvic floor muscles as one can control their muscles consciously. We do have voluntary muscles and involuntary muscles. For example, uterus is involuntary, bladder is involuntary. They cannot be controlled. Our body controls them. The diaphragm is a voluntary muscle. We can control it. Vaginal canal is a voluntary muscle that we can control. We can control, and squeeze just with the right guidance of how to do it. Mainly the whole squeezing and lifting performed on exhale. On, inhale, relax
After every squeeze there is need to relax. Women who do a lot of yoga can at times develop hypertone of the pelvic floor muscle. So, it is important to relax the muscles after every squeeze.
Based on your experience, at what age should pelvic floor exercises start?
Girls can start to know how their bodies function early enough. That they are healthy. However, one has to know how to address the education as they don’t really need it now but it is more like prevention. Like going to the gym, one has to know what weights are appropriate for them. If doing exercises, they need to know how to engage their pelvic floor muscles whilst exercising.
Are there exercises that can affect the pelvic floor?
Heavy weight lifting, running and jumping can cause stress and incontinences. Any exercise that puts pressure on the pelvic floor. Also don’t hold urine too long and don’t push out. Constipation as well brings pressure on the pelvic floor.
However, squatting is very good for the pelvic floor. Squatting is good for the pelvic floor muscles, pelvic floor ligament and for the core.
Any aids you can recommend to help with the pelvic floor?
Kegel devices can help but the exercises can be done even without them. Devices just make it faster and more effective.
The main concern is not doing the exercises correctly. Understanding how the body works and how the muscles work. If done correctly it should take 15-20 minutes a day and the results should be there. These exercises bring women more pleasure and health benefits.
Any advice about life style in general for a Stellar life?
A healthy diet (green diet, good fats, good meat and fish) and in the right proportion is very good for everyone. This helps to keep a good hormonal balance and if one suffers from incontinency, then a little bit of less coffee and communication with nature. In addition to a good diet, communication with yourself and nature.