Who is Dr. Kinga Mnich?
I’m a SOCIAL-PSYCHOLOGIST, EDUCATOR & SPEAKER, dreamer, and feminist who wants to change the way society works, creating equal opportunities.
What was your childhood dream career?
Honestly, I didn’t have a childhood dream career. My parents left
with me to Germany when I was 4 1/5 years old. And the first years were marked with living in an immigration/refugee community. I grew up watching my parents struggle and create a new life while facing many obstacles. My dream was to create a life where people could experience more joy and lightness. I was dreaming of a life filled with the belief that you have to fight and work hard to achieve your goals. In that regard, I am living my dream.
What is your feeling today being in the new year?
I enjoy watching society’s progress and the constant change we are going through. The way we as millennials get to mediate between generations. We are still far away from what I would call my dream world. But I remain optimistic that our path will drive gradual improvements towards a better future.
You were the first woman and social psychologist to gain access to a South African maximum-security prison. How was that experience?
It was an unforgettable experience and, frankly, an unexpected one. Much different from what we are used to seeing in movies and books. I met fascinating men and was able to get to know their stories and insight into their minds and emotions in a “controlled” environment.
Your work is centred around emotions. How important are emotions in life and performance?
Emotions are everywhere and all the time. However, how we express them – or don’t – is based on social and cultural constructs. In a healthy society where all members thrive, it is vital to understand these dynamics and separate them from the sense of self. Your feelings are not a reflection of who you are as a person.
How can emotions be managed?
More than managed, I believe in our abilities to understand them and use them positively. Instead of focusing on the difficult emotions and society’s expectations, our focus should be on uplifting emotions. It is ok for us to feel frustrated or angry as long as we accurately understand them, which means as long as you know what to do to stop feeling this way.
One of the common obstacles that people face when managing their emotions is being stuck in a feeling and persisting that they have the right to feel it. Yet, emotions are your internal compass. They are here to guide you and help you navigate your environment.
What’s the Ziva way and what impact would it have on one’s personal or professional growth?
It is a method based on 5 pillars that work holistically on growing both personal and professional aspects: Mind, Emotions, Self-Trust, Leadership and Relationships.
How did you create this program?
The theory was based on my Ph.D. research, studies, and years of training. It came together through my work with clients and their companies. The big impact on how we understand emotions, as well as perceive them, was evident and it proved to be effective. I created the Ziva Way to help me share the knowledge with more people.
Why it is important to address past traumas?
Your understanding of your emotions is based on the past. You have learned to understand, express or suppress your feelings in your childhood and teenage years. If you don’t reflect on the past, you risk bringing your past into the present moment. Meaning you will feel something from the past instead of understanding every situation in a new unique way.
Let me give you an example. Your mother forgot to pick you up from school regularly. She might have used the excuse that something more important needed to be done at that moment. This made you often feel like you were irrelevant to her. And now, whenever someone forgets a meeting with you, you feel inadequate. Instead of clarifying that time is essential to you and setting boundaries, you feel unworthy and afraid of speaking up. You were taught that your anger and disappointment was irrelevant. Understanding your past traumas allows you to disconnect from what you were feeling and reconnect to your emotions in a way you want to experience them.
We are into a new year, how can one overcome fear of failure?
It often starts by redefining what success means to you and not the people around you. What is important to you, what are your core values, and how do you want to live life. It is essential to revisit your expectations and ensure that you are not trying to live up to someone else’s standards.
What was one of the most interesting things you learned last year?
The less you push, the more will come.
How do you define success?
Success is when you truly understand yourself and become conscious of how you navigate through life. When you express your emotions from a place of knowledge, act according to your values, and understand how to bring joy into your life and work. That is the goal of the Ziva Way method.
How important is goal setting in achieving success?
Goal setting is paramount for several reasons: first, the self-discovering process one has to go through in order to set them.
Second, they lay the foundation for the path: it is easier to navigate life’s choices and challenges if we know where we are heading: for example, it becomes much easier to say “no” and pass “opportunities” that are not in line with our goals. And finally, we can keep ourselves accountable for achieving them as frightening as that may sound.
What curtails women from achieving their goals and the success they desire?
There are lots of obstacles that women have to face to succeed: society’s expectations, double standards, unfair salaries, blocked opportunities. I could go on…but there are things women can do to overcome these obstacles: working on Mind, Emotions, Self Trust, Leadership and Building Relationships will provide the necessary tools. And stop judging other women, act from a place of kindness and always try to find positivity in everything you are going through.
What is that one personal strength you have that you want to use more this year to be the Stellar woman you desire to be?
Confidence and the belief that I can turn any idea into reality. I do want to share this more with other women by helping them to believe more in themselves.
What advice would you offer someone who is planning to overhaul their life this year?
Be open to take a journey to better understand yourself first. Develop a positive mindset, and an understanding of your emotions. This will improve your self-trust and ability to build a strong network to grow.
What future do you envision for women?
I see women changing the world for the better: I am excited about the opportunities. The world has been missing out on women’s contribution in leadership and entrepreneurship. Women belong in all aspects of society’s life, from politics to environmental protection, finance, entrepreneurship and everything in between.
Where do we see Dr Kinga in the next 5-10 years?
Next year we are launching the Ziva Way Magazine showcasing inspiring women stories, help subscribers better understand the power of emotions. We’re hoping to share with millions of women around the world. This is the first step of many different media outlets will launch in that timeframe.
What are the attributes to your ideal stellar woman?
One that has done some work to understand that her emotions are not holding her back but that they are her superpower to thrive and be the best self she can be.
What’s your life mantra?
Enjoy every moment.
If you had to go back in time, what would you change about your life story and why?
I wouldn’t change a thing. Every interaction, decision and experience has made me the woman I am today and has given me the opportunity to continue growing and contributing to other women.
Leave one 2022 challenge for the Stellar Woman readers.
Experience every situation as it would be the first time you are experiencing it. Write down your big scary dream. One that seems so ambitious that it makes you scared. Let’s talk after that on how we can make it come true.